Update from the Edinburgh Fringe

Alas, I have been too busy to write a well-crafted, funny, amazing post... So I thought I'd write this one instead. It is twenty to two in the morning and my body is very tired, but my mind is quite lively still because I have just been to see stand-up.

I have been quite busy. Nine shows a week, plus disco, and I still have to update the show's blog.

So just now - prior to a wet walk home across the Meadows is what I mean to "just now" - I went to see Andrew O'Neill at the Pleasance Courtyard at 10.45pm. I recommend. Go see. I went with high expectations, for I had to choose between eating the food I was making or walking half an hour through soggy Edinburgh to see the show. No regrets. I enjoyed it immensely.

Sorry this turned out stilted towards the end. Had to update the Back to School blog. Blogged me out.

Back to School

I'm now in Edinburgh for interactive, site-specific, comedy show, Back to School. See you in class!

Collection of Faces

I've not been that idle with the brush recently, you see. Although last week was swallowed up by creating a bespoke table plan for my sister's wedding.

Human faces. Nothing more fascinating to focus on, in my opinion. You can tell the ones that weren't done on watercolour paper by the grey rays emanating off them; that's where the paper has warped. I could remove them in Photoshop, but those guys don't look like they mind too much for now.

Cross Channel Film Lab

Tuesday saw the launch of the Cross Channel Film lab, which aims to build connections between Cornish and Breton based filmmakers. In particular, the scheme purposes to connect writers, directors and producers with people who work in visual effects and 3D technology. Money is involved.

A series of open sessions have been held at University College Falmouth's new AIR building. "AIR" stands for Academy of Innovation and Research; I can imagine whoever came up with this patting themself smugly on the back and taking a month off to recover. I will be disappointed if they do not name their next three buildings Earth, Wind and Fire. Unless this is the case within the next five years, I say they should have followed the tradition of naming buildings after notable alumni. For example, St Andrews now has Blackadder Hall, named after Sir Edmund, a distant relation of Rowan Atkinson. Some say standards in History teaching are declining, but I do not know what they are talking about. UCF alumni include a cyborg. Now that's pretty innovative. They should have named it after him.

Today's session focused on scriptwriting and how visual effects may affect storytelling. Kate Leys gave a lecture via Skype to start it off, focusing on what makes great storytelling.
 Here are the main points, re-explained by me:

• A Great Hook. This is why Peter Pan is such an engaging story and why there are so many films about coathangers.

You should be able to describe the story in incredibly simple terms. One sentence to sum it up. One sentence to guide it; with this sentence in mind, you can check that the whole of your script is 

• A Big Idea. Buy a large notebook. Big notebooks mean big ideas. Plus, you can sit under it when it rains.

What you want the audience to understand. A simple message to be woven into each scene. Making sure it is expressed in every scene will give the film coherence and let the message gain resonance. Don't write it on a sledgehammer that knocks your main character on the head in the denouement.

• Well-Defined Characters. Usually only a problem with animation and anorexic actors. Drawn badly or badly drawn characters will be hard to viewers to spot within the frame.

In real life we may are often contradictory. Our actions and our feelings may not match up, or if they do it would take three years of psycho-analysis and reading all our childhood diaries to work out why. If you want to create a complex character like this, have unprotected sex

• Stake. Particularly important in vampire films and biopics of Alan Titchmarsh [non-UK readers insert alternative garden-dweller here].

What matters to the main character? We all have different priorities, so you as the writer must decide this and make it clear to the audience. It shouldn't be their entire philosophy of life on this planet, unless that really is what you film is about. It needn't be a big thing. Perhaps what really matters to them throughout the film is that they just want a bacon sandwich.

• Problems. For nerds with over-active minds, you should include some maths problems up on the screen during the latter half of the film. They should be in the bottom right hand corner and include jokes in binary form. If you cannot manage this, give up all dreams of becoming a scriptwriter now.

Keep bringing in problems throughout the film for your characters to contend with. They'll keep the story ticking along.

• Whose Story Is It? Protect your copyright at all times and punch any producer who tries to interfere with you on the schnoz.

It's not yours, unless it's an autobiopic. Do those happen? The story must have one person at its centre. They need not be the loudest character or the one with most screentime. The example Kate gave is that in Little Miss Sunshine the story is organised around the mother. She helps things happen. She is the only one who gets what she wants in the end, which is for her family to get on just a little better.

• An Ending. Unlike a puppy, an film-goer is not for life. An audience will turn up at the cinema and probably leave before they've bothered to read your name in the credits. To avoid this happening, some films have secret scenes inserted after the credits, forming a second ending. Go one better and have your credits put in the middle of the film. If the director disagrees, compromise: just have your name flashed up for ten seconds.

The ending should be worked in to the story. A snooker ball goes in a certain trajectory, which you had to decide at the beginning, before you placed your shot. If you're good, it'll go where you intended it to. There's no skill in shooting the ball of the table and screaming 'it was all a dream!'

Kate also stressed that what drives a film is a character's dramatic struggle. The plot must not be just a series of events, but happenings in the course of a particular human struggle. Big crowd scenes and flashy effects must be there to help a story along. Don't look at Scene 5 and think: this is boring, I'll add fifty thousand women in loincloths / a mutant dinosaur-moth and leave it to the costume department and the effects guys to create something good.

The Blank Canvas Project

Myself and two team mates - Natalie Collins and Anna Brimley. Kimberley Webb was also on our team, but had left at this point. Hooray for team Mangrove.

On Sunday I took part in The Blank Canvas Project at Falmouth Moor. Six teams of artists, who were arranged in groups based on their style and method of working, produced an artwork over the course of the day. Lunch was provided by Pizza Express, but when it arrived all I could think of was paintpaintpaint. Still, it was a very necessary energy boost when I remembered it. I spoke to a few members of the public, but I couldn't say how many passers-by came to watch. Unless they actually engaged me in conversation, it was hard to notice, absorbed as we were in our work. I do remember though, that I kept having a last little fiddle around with my mermaid (this sounds far dirtier than it should), when I turned around to find four tourists staring at me.

One of the good things about working in a team, is that other people are there to calm you down if you start to get stressed: 'Ah, we've still got two hours left,' said Natalie.

'Aargh!' said I. 'Only two hours left! Argh!.'

'Yes, but we've almost finished,' said Natalie.

'Argh.' I said, but less certain.

Indeed, we did finish with an hour to spare, so I stand corrected.

Our completed work: Enchanted Deep.

 We took inspiration from a couple of topics that Matt, one of the organisers of the event, had suggested: Enchanted Forest and Ancient Mariner. Anna and Natalie freely confessed to being obsessed with trees. I am fascinated by waves and Kimberley likes fantasy realms.

We thought that both the topics hinted at the myths and legends associated with Cornwall. Not to mention the beautiful scenery that is unescapable in these parts. I've never known what to say, when confronted with the question which I prefer: the forest of the sea. That is, I think it is something I've thought of several times. The recent instance that comes to mind is being asked this question by Pottermore, so it could decide what house I would be in. (Ravenclaw.) I'm very acquainted with both coast and woodland, having grown up here in West Cornwall.

One thing I like about our completed work is the sense that something is happening.

Ash working on his team's artwork.

At work on the Ancient Mariner.

Very precise work being done by another team.

Check out The Blank Canvas Project's official blog for more pictures of the completed artworks: http://blankcollabproject.blogspot.co.uk/

A Selection of Portraits

Watercolour

Acrylic

Acrylic

Acrylic

Cornwall in May

I am now back in Cornwall, which yesterday displayed gorgeous blue skies. I wish I was writing this yesterday, so I could write 'back in sunny Cornwall'; unfortunately, today that would not be true. 

Whenever I thought back to Cornwall when I was away, I pictured it warm and bright. Admittedly, I can't complain about the temperature, but it's amazing that the sky can be that grey in the middle of spring. Plus, the damp gets in my lungs. On the plus side, arriving at the doctors a bit gaspy, means feeling less awkward about taking up an appointment space. I don't suppose I will ever feel justified in going to see the doctor until I have a thing that makes them recoil in horror. Mind you, that wouldn't be a very good doctor would it? In case anyone's judging, they made me have a appointment by refusing all prescriptions until I had them reviewed. Presumably to check I hadn't died and that my mum wasn't selling my prescriptions on the black market, or that I hadn't grown a second head as a side effect and not thought it worth complaining about.

Which I haven't. Have I? Sorry, that wasn't to you - I was asking the other head.