My Magic Flask

My magic flask transforms any drink. Whatever you put in it, be it tea, coffee... okay, I have only ever put in it tea and coffee. It is a flask. Apart from hot drinks - or if you're a crazy radical, soup - what else are you going to put in it? Anyway, whatever I put in it, the thing I drink bears no resemblance to the original contents. Therefore - - - > Magic.

The colour is always black. The inside of the cup, i.e. flask top, is black. No magic there. The material state is liquid. That is like the original contents, admittedly. That's probably something to do with magic still having to be within the laws of science - whoever heard of matter changing state and liquid becoming solid or gas? Hahahaha.... wait, did I boil a kettle to make tea? Yeah... steam? You mean the magic cloud? Not magic? Okay, no magic clouds. Back to talking about my magic flask.

Magic 1:
Input: tea  - - - - > Output: creosote.

The smell of creosote is nostalgic to me, conjuring up memories of my dad coating the fences. I grew up in what could be called a remote hamlet. Though I am uneasy applying the word remote to a place that was the centre of my universe for so long. Did it have a bus service? Not after the woman who used it died. Was it near town? Welll, twenty minutes drive; without traffic. Train station? Pah, by the time you got there, time to go home again. I'd say remote-ish. The house in the hamlet had corrugated iron to be painted and fenced in garden to be creosoted; in case you'd forgotten why I mentioned it.

Magic 2:
Input: coffee - - - - > Output: liquid frankfurter.

A bit like liquid nitrogen in that it starts with the word "liquid". In no other ways is it like liquid nitrogen.
Frankfurters are also nostalgic to me. I wasn't always vegetarian. In fact when I was very young I really liked frankfurters. Especially chilled frankfurters. The appealing thing about frankfurters was you could pretend they were cold, dead worms.

My magic nostalgia flask is available for rent for a upfront fee of 200 magic dollars. Applicants without magic dollars need not apply; no time wasters thank you.